Student Ramblings

November 13
Sunny

The past few days have been very interesting at school. Like most of the other male teachers here, I am the object of most of the female students’ affection. They love to come into the school office just to say “hi” in English, and wave, and be slutty.

Sometime last week, a couple of girls game in and started talking in Japanese about me being cute. The Vice-principal was standing there and started to translate, telling me that the girls were saying how I’m “Pretty.” Now this d-bag’s English isn’t that bad, and I know he knew what the actual translation was, but I think he was trying to deter, according to his imagination, my intentions of molesting my students. Now I don’t know how many more times I have to defend myself, but they are just WAAAY TOO OLD. So because he decided to use that translation, which he made the girls completely aware of, I have those girls and others coming in and telling me how pretty I am. They wouldn’t be saying that if I showed them my balloon knot.

This week, I used a game for my 7th grade students. It was originally called Thief, but because the Japanese can’t say the “TH” sound (comes out as “Z”), Robber became the new name of the game. But these kids can’t say robber either. Instead they were saying “lover.” Now I think this might be one of those things where you had to “Be There,” but it was hilarious. Just imagine…a bunch of prepubescent boys and girls who struggle to keep their eyes open, almost as if there are anchors tied to their eye lashes, laughing and giggling and picking their noses and putting their hands down their pants and eating rice. Ridiculous right? I lived that. I lived that shit. Spect.

Today, there was one kid who was being completely masochistic. Again, like most schools, there are good boys and “naughty” boys. The naughty boys will literally get up in the middle of a lesson and sit in the back of the classroom where all the backpacks are. This little dude was one of those boys. But instead of just sitting in the back, he decided to sew. Now I know that i’m able to sew, and people laugh, but it is legitimately a good skill to know. However, this kid was doing it instead of paying attention in English class. So he was basically choosing to do something that he won’t need to do when he gets older, because he’ll have a woman (As a wife or a slave, I don’t know. But nonetheless, he’ll have a woman to do that stuff.), instead of learning something that will help him get mad bitches, who will probably know how to sew too.

After he was done sewing, he put all of his needles into his sleeve. Then he started poking himself with the needles, until they would stick right out of his arm. This whole time we’re playing Doctor…er I mean Robber, and I’m wincing and laughing. WTF is with this kid. Is he gay?

Cultural Note:

1. Masochistic – The condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.