tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69081002064797098042024-03-13T12:33:48.749-07:00Engrish Ressonsarcasm, jokes, and truth. laugh and learn, don't get offendedMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.comBlogger60125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-3486962539859755282009-02-22T05:49:00.000-08:002009-02-22T05:50:14.632-08:00Christmas VacationFor the Holiday Season, my sister came to Japan for the 1st time. While I had done this tour before, it was much different this time around. Mainly because I was able to relax with someone like myself, instead of with a group of 30-somethings who only wanted to<br />visit maid cafes and Akihabara porn shops. However, because we did things that non-Japanese girl-Lesbian-Anime-Porn obsessed people do, we were being stalked by an even more sweaty and crazed menace… Catbus.<br /><br />These blogs will document our travels into Japan’s underworld and our eventual salvation at the hands of Fring Bird. Enjoy.<br /><br />Cultural Notes<br /><br />None. Items will be referenced in the following blogs.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-72775011608956398922009-02-22T05:48:00.002-08:002009-02-22T05:49:21.414-08:00Nara DeerIn Nara, there are a ton of temples. The whole place is a cultural heritage site. Really, it’s just a huge park with temples all over…and DEER. Random. Ass. DEER. Frolicking about. Bambi.<br /><br />As we walked, we discovered the first sign of the beasts based on their droppings: too big for a rabbit, but too clumpy to be a dog. This = Deer.<br /><br />So we found a vendor selling deer bait (stale old senbei), and lured those buggers into our trap. Our petting trap. But then we were overwhelmed. Ryoko got scared, but she didn’t know the secret to getting them off. A swift kick in the cahones. And in the case of a girl deer, aim for the vaj.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Senbei – (Sen-bay) – Rice CrackerMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-12293816333388863312009-02-22T05:48:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:48:48.210-08:00Chinese food/ Pizza Hut/ Shabu Shabu (Osaka Food)The Chinese food in Osaka is exceptional, but I think it’s only because it tastes a lot like the Chinese back home. We ate Mabo Tofu, grilled vegetables, and some shumai. The only problem was that it was run by Chinese people. And despite it being Japan, this close to China… you never know what’s going into that food…do…ca…pand… MSG! NOOO!<br /><br />I also had Pizza Hut for the first time in years. It was amazing.<br /><br />Shabu Shabu is a pretty good local specialty too. The great thing about shabu shabu is the peanut sauce. It might even be better than yakiniku sex sauce. I was putting peanut sauce on everything, including my nipples. I ruined my shirt.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Mabo Tofu – (Mah-bow Toe-foo) – A Chinese dish made with ground beef and tofu. It is seasoned with a generous portion of ground and chopped red peppers and a soy sauce base. Usually served with or over rice.<br />2. Shumai – (Shoe-my) – A Chinese steamed dumpling with various fillings.<br />3. Shabu Shabu – (Shah-boo Shah-boo) – Beef, noodles, tofu, and vegetables cooked in boiling hot water and then dipped into different sauces. The amount of time the ingredients are in the boiling water is generally very short. The title comes from the sounds the ingredients make when “swooshed” in the water.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-80621111972850563272009-02-22T05:47:00.002-08:002009-02-22T05:48:13.665-08:00Osaka PeopleReally really rude people. Probably the rudest in all of Japan. They literally do not seem like Japanese people at all. I’ve heard they’re the fastest walkers in the world, which may contribute to this fact, but I don’t see how that makes up for this guy half my sisters size, shouldering her then talking shit like she’s the one looking for a fight.<br /><br />It was funny though because Ryoko was just surprised. And then catbus ripped his face off.<br /><br />“I want to take his face…off.”Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-57600718926608524702009-02-22T05:47:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:47:35.915-08:00Suitcase/ ShinkansenMost of the trip, we had to take bullet trains to get to the other cities. It was the fastest way. Ryoko also packed the heaviest and bulkiest luggage she could manage, just to piss me off, even after I told her to pack light.<br /><br />All the train rides were nerve wracking because there was no space for her bag, so I kept thinking it would get taken if left unattended. Then on our way down to Osaka, I found a space in the back of the train behind some seats. I grab the bag and stick it there (that's what she said) And right before the train leaves, 2 people sit down on the two chairs in front of the luggage. The dude pulls the luggage out into the middle of the aisle so he can fit a small hold-all behind the seats and fully recline the chairs. Douchebags. We talked shit all the way down to Osaka, and kept looking bag. Awkward. For them.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Shinkansen – (Shin-kahn-sen) – Bullet TrainMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-25050168690775840792009-02-22T05:46:00.002-08:002009-02-22T05:47:11.135-08:00Grilled DaifukuIn Kyoto, we found the greatest daifuku ever made. First off, it’s grilled, so the outside is crispy with soft mochi under it and warm anko on the inside. Wow, I’m all hot and bothered now, ha haaaa…<br /><br />There were 3 flavors – Regular, Matcha, and Sweet Potato. All equally good, all equally worth masturbating over. Let’s just put it this way, I don’t think I will be able to go back to Kyoto for awhile without changing my face, or wearing gloves.<br /><br />Cutlural Note:<br /><br />1. Daifuku – (Die-foo-koo) – Mochi with anko inside<br />2. Mochi – (Moe-chee) – Pounded rice cake. The STANDARD does NOT have ice cream inside.<br />3. Anko – (On-co.) – Sweetened red bean paste. Similar to refried beans.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-921883887314841192009-02-22T05:46:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:46:37.986-08:00Love Me, GeishaIn Kyoto, we went to the lair of the geishas, the Gion District. Now, when you think of Japan, the first things that pop into your mind are sushi, pokemon, and of course, geishas. Sweet, succulent geishas. It reminds me a of a song…<br /><br />Seeing Geishas at the Break of Dawn<br />So Hot’n’Bothered and Turned On<br />And I…<br />JIZZED IN MY PANTS<br />Got So Much White Stuff All Up On Yo Face<br />Coulda Swore Someone Used Bukkake Mace<br /><br />… We get to the main theater where the geishas perform or hangout or whatever, and there are tons of Japanese people with cameras. No Foreigners. It was crazy. It’s like the people who get all excited over seeing the “stars” from High School Musical, except less pathetic.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Gion District – (Gee-on) – An artsy and old-fashioned district of Kyoto.<br /><br />*Jizz In My Pants is owned by the group Lonely Island.<br /> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pXfHLUlZf4Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-54786686235908503942009-02-22T05:45:00.004-08:002009-02-22T05:46:13.002-08:00KabukiThe Kabuki (Kah-boo-key) Theater, aka Kabuki-za, is the biggest Kabuki theater (maybe the only one?) in Tokyo. We bought standing room only tickets for the first act.<br /><br />Kabuki is pretty much a ye-olde soap opera. Over acting, screaming, murder, etc… I guess it’s an acquired taste.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-87127717388902935632009-02-22T05:45:00.003-08:002009-02-22T05:45:47.003-08:00Tokyo TowerAt 333 meters. Taller than the Eiffel Tower, is … Tokyo Towerrr! The mascots look like 2 condoms.<br /><br />The viewing platform has a 360° view of Tokyo, a stage for a band, a restaurant and a coffee shop. One of the coolest parts though, was the clear glass walking area where tower guests are able to look straight down to the ground. Japanese people are funny. They kept saying “Scary, Scary,” and holding the rail while walking over the glass. And those are only the ones who walked over it. Everybody else would stand at least 10 ft away, just staring at it as if they had seen a ghost…or the grudge. I couldn’t see through the glass after the Japanese people walked over it. POO POO PEE PEE! PEE PEE IN YOUR POO POO!<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. The Grudge – The remake of a Japanese horror film.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-71680528615080636292009-02-22T05:45:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:45:20.613-08:00Beer Museum/ Dessert Bar/ BakeriesIn Tokyo, we went to the Yebisu Beer Museum. There we saw the beginnings of Yebisu Beer and partook in some world-renowned (terrible) beer. We even got crackers. It was during the evening too, so people were getting really wasted around us. Plus because they’re asian, their faces were almost as red as the center of the Japanese Flag.<br /><br />Our next food stop was an all-you-can-eat dessert bar. A buff. Both of us love dessert. We went balls out (well I did anyways. Ryoko is a girl). They had curry and pasta there too.<br /><br />Lastly and most importantly, are the bakeries. Now in addition to all the sandwiches we ate at the convenience stores, we dominated bakeries. It was standard procedure when we got in there too; got it down to a science. Find a sandwich, find a savory, and find dessert (maybe 2 if we felt like it). I don’t think I’ve ever eaten so much bakery stuff in my life before or after that trip.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Buff – (Boof) – Short for buffet (buh-fay) – an all-you-can-eat selection of food and drink.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-5844489303504365752009-02-22T05:44:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:44:53.260-08:00Catbus /Fring Bird/ Animal T-ShirtsOur time in Tokyo has made me come (that's what she said) to fear for my life. Catbus is on the loose, the most dangerous creature known to man (in general). Not Rampant (who is the most dangerous creature known to anything with an anoose). It feeds on fear, while Rampant just feeds on genitals and balloon knots.<br /><br />Fring Bird has also made its way into my life. He is the most famous bird in Japan. But he is only a danger to himself, and not to others. We found him in Shinjuku. His biography is as follows (down to the dot):<br /><br />FRING BIRD<br />He name is “bird”<br />He like sleep<br />day, He fring sky<br />but, sleeping<br />so danger.<br /><br />We cannot forget the animal t-shirts either. Different farm animals looking at dinner plates, with either themselves or other animal products on them i.e. a couple of cows are looking at a steak, chickens looking at eggs, and pigs looking at bacon. They all look sad and maybe a little MAD. Mad cow’s disease.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Mad Cow’s Disease – Disease found in bovine animals, developed by the animals eating feed with bovine in it.<br />2. Bovine – (Bow-vine) – CowMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-15306027057314191812009-02-22T05:43:00.002-08:002009-02-22T05:44:13.871-08:00Scarf/Man-bagMy travels into the developed parts of Japan have made me come to realize that I need a man-bag. It’s just not cool to have a backpack. So I have decided that I’m going to get a murse. A man-purse-gina.<br /><br />I also realized that even if you think a scarf maybe soft, it might not be. After 2 weeks of wearing my Uniqlo women’s scarf nonstop, I got a rash on my neck. It’s not a yeast infection right?<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Yeast Infection – Ask a girl/ DoctorMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-25409571478496652812009-02-22T05:43:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:43:30.814-08:00Tsukiji Fish Market/ “Somethin' smells fishy and I don't know what/ But I got a hunch it's your lady”One of the biggest tourist attractions in Tokyo is the Tsukiji Fish Market. They have auctions for 1,000 lb tuna which go for 1,000’s of bucks. Crazy.<br /><br />We got there around 4, because that’s when the auctions start. We find a cop to get the exact location. He tells us, but when we get to the front, it’s closed off to tourists for a month. He didn’t tell us that. Bitch. Major beeyotch. So we take the first train back to the hotel and sleep for a couple more hours.<br /><br />Then we go back later in the morning and eat the best sushi I’ve ever had. All maguro. Seared, semi-toro, full toro. Plus we got this shrimp head miso soup. I named mine pinky.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Tsukiji Fish Market – (Tsu-key-jee) – Biggest fish market in the world. Said to have the freshest fish in the world.<br />2. Maguro – (Mah-goo-row) – Tuna<br />3. Toro – (Toe-row) – FattyMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-13256721029828713552009-02-22T05:42:00.002-08:002009-02-22T05:43:02.785-08:00Disney SeaIt’s the most expensive Disney park ever created. That’s why they have one of the coolest attractions ever! The Ancient Galleon! Which has cannons and special quarters for the crew and cargo. Now it sounds awesome, I know, but the cannons shoot smoke! They’re aimed at the harbor in the center of the park, so you can shoot oncoming boats i.e. Gondolas and Steamboat Ferries. Unfortunately, none of these seafaring vehicles could be sunk, but they were scared out of their wits. I might have to call my Kraken. It really was cool though.<br /><br />They also have Journey to the Center of the Earth. This is easily the best ride there. It starts out slow like the Dinosaur ride at Knott’s, but at the end, before you get eaten by a giant (liquid hot) magma alien bug, the car launches forward like one of those car chases on COPS. It’s pitch black during this until you hit a peak and then fly down a huge drop. A+ (A PRUS).<br /><br />Disney Sea is also home to the most diverse flavored popcorn I’ve ever eaten. Salt, Caramel, Chocolate, Strawberry, Cappuccino, Black Pepper, and good old fashioned Butter. They even have a special flavor next to the submarine ride, Seaman popcorn. We ate all but the butter and seaman/salt ones throughout the day. And I can say this with all the honesty of a guy who goes to Disneyland just to watch kids and touch himself, that the food there is much better than any Disney Park I’ve been to.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Kraken – (Kray-Ken) – An ancient monster squid, which hunts Sperm…whales and ships.<br />2. Dinosaur Ride at Knott’s – One of the oldest rides at Knott’s Berry Farm Theme Park. Based on H.G. Wells’ novella “The Time Machine.”<br />3. Liquid hot magma – Only the hottest substance known to man. Hotter than the sun, and ugly girls when you’re drunk.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-40111954107390017712009-02-22T05:42:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:42:31.447-08:00Ghibli MuseumOne of the most interesting places we visited during our time in Tokyo was the Ghibli Museum. It’s a step into the Ghibli Studios fantasy world. Everything’s themed, even the bathrooms. So it makes it really weird to see a cartoon face looking down at your…thingy.<br /><br />Every adventurer gets a ticket to watch an exclusive screening of a Ghibli short. We watched “Koro’s Day Out.” It’s about a dog who’s pissing everywhere, almost getting hit by cars, and stealing other dogs’ food. It’s basically watching True Life: I’m homeless in Downtown L.A. (Minus the drugs).<br /><br />Then on the roof, there is a huge robot statue. This thing is REALLY big. Yes, bigger than Yao Ming and that guy from Big Fish. But it is smaller than one thing – Blackzilla.<br /><br />After that, we made our way to the Catbus playground. It seemed so fun and carefree ☺…except for the fact that Catbus was waiting. Biding it’s time, until it rips off those little kids’ faces who are jumping all over him. Bad Kitty.<br /><br />The shop is what got me. So listen to this: they have real products at unBERIEVABRE prices. They priced a zip up sweatshirt at $200. They must be living in a fantasy world.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Ghibli Studios – (Jih-blee) – Famous Japanese film studio that makes animated films similar to Walt Disney back home.<br />2. Yao Ming – Tallest Player in the NBA.<br />3. Blackzilla – Porn star.<br />4. Catbus – Catbus is one of the featured characters in the animated film “ My Neighbor Totoro.” It’s name is self-explanatory.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-33505527171802735022009-02-22T05:41:00.001-08:002009-02-22T05:41:53.313-08:00Watership DownI’m reading Watership Down now. The writing style is really funny. The author acts as if he’s in a secret society revolving around rabbit culture. Yes rabbit culture. “The Secret Lives of Rabbits.” You think you know, but you have no idea. This is the true life of rabbits. He goes into rabbit mythology and discusses games like Bob-stones, where the rabbit covers the stones with his paw, and the other rabbit must guess how many are under it. Better than Monopoly.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-33511276733779638252009-02-22T05:39:00.000-08:002009-02-22T05:41:09.720-08:00Toyoko InnWe stayed at the Toyoko Inn for the duration of our travels in Japan. We got a huge discount because we stayed for long periods (ewww) at a time. We also joined the Toyoko Inn Member Club and got free towels when we went to different hotels.<br /><br />For the month of Dec/Jan, they were playing the two most critically acclaimed movies of 2008: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull as well as the epic science fiction fantasy Charlie Wilson’s War. And although we had seen them about 100 times each, whenever they weren’t playing, we would get pissed.<br /><br />They also gave out a complimentary breakfast every morning, which consisted of miso soup and rice balls. Ryoko never missed a meal.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Toyoko Inn – (Toe-Yo-Co.) – Budget HotelMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-66149866515580529792008-12-25T05:57:00.001-08:002008-12-25T05:57:38.749-08:00End of the Year ApplesThe Japanese love to give out apples during winter, saying, “My Neighbor/Relative grew these extra apples, douzo.”<br /><br />Domo Arigatou Mr. Roboto<br /><br />My tutor and one of my JTE’s gave them to me, and these things are HUGE. If you were to go to the store, they would be at least $3 or $4 bucks a piece. I also saw some of these bigger “Japanese Pears.” They were the size of MELONS. Pamela pre-reduction. Massive. I thought they were fake…but they were real. Not Pamela. I laughed really loud in the produce section and some old lady smiled and winked. She didn’t actually do that.<br /><br />Wishful Thinking.<br /><br />Cutlural Note:<br /><br />1. Domo Arigatou Mr. Roboto – In Japanese means, Thank you Mr. Robot<br />2. Japanese Pear – Looks like apples, feels like apples, and tastes like a mix between a pear and an apple.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-53346112225102637052008-12-25T05:46:00.002-08:002008-12-25T05:47:02.499-08:00Working During the HolidaysSo I’ve had to work during the holidays this year. The reason being that half of my vacation days will be over by February. And I can’t use ‘em all up when people have made plans to come here, now can I?.... Uhhh, so I was pretty much content with my decision until Christmas Eve.<br /><br />My birthday was good, no qualms there. The most dangerous man on the entire planet invited me to his lair, where he eats babies, and THEN molests them. Can’t forget puppies/kittens and old people either. He made the best stir-fry I’ve ever had in Japan, and we proceeded to watch this sort of mystery rock musical. Went home, made myself a Mexican feast of epic proportions. Touched myself, then fell asleep.<br /><br />Christmas Eve rolls around, doin’ fine. Then my JTE’s start to ask me what I’m doing for Christmas Eve. That's when it starts. I tell them I have no plans, and sympathetically they say, “Ohhhh…Well when does your sister come in?” On Sunday I say. “Ohhh, AFTER Christmas…Well I’m sure you’ll have fun. (Awkward Smile)” Happened twice pretty much the same way.<br /><br />Then as I’m getting ready to unlock my bike and make another feast of epic proportions (chicken, mashed potatoes, and stuffing, all splattered with my “Homemade Gravy”), my vice-principal comes up to me. “Hi Mashoo! What you do, uh, tonight?” Making a big dinner, spreading my hands out. “Be with Girlfriendo?” No, no, no, bitches are too complicated. “Friendo?” All out of town. “… Your sister come Sunday “Ne”? Sounds,…fun. Haha… Seeyou!”<br /><br />…<br /><br />Christmas Day. Because of the incredibly awkward conversations the day before, they all avoid me except for saying “Good Morning” and “Merry Christmas.” My direct supervisor, though, gave me a tea-cup with all the kanji for different fish. She also managed to take out all of the chocolates beforehand, and then put it back in it’s package. It’s the thought that counts of course, and of course I was happy to get a present.<br /><br />Mark my words though. I’m never, with all the power I have, not working on Christmas ever again. EVER. It doesn’t matter where I’m at next year, but I will not be in the school.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. JTE – Japanese Teacher of English, Native Japanese English speakers.<br />2. “Ne” – Sort of like fishing for an agreement at the end of a sentence, like, “Right?”<br />3. Kanji – (Khan-Jee) – Japanese alphabet of pictographs.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-20857797573877501472008-12-25T05:46:00.001-08:002008-12-25T05:46:27.350-08:00Funny Girl/ Laughing BoyOne of the first graders at my school has one of the funniest faces. When she’s in class and the teacher says something that she doesn’t understand, she makes this face. The only way to describe it would be an awkward/uncomfortable/constipated face, with emphasis on the constipated part.<br /><br />One of the second graders that I teach has been dubbed The Laughing Boy. He’s ridiculous. Never does his homework, doesn’t understand English, and all he does is laugh and smile. And it’s really hard for me to not laugh either. So I have to avoid looking in his direction of the room, but then it’s really awkward because I’m only talking to half of the class. And when I do look over, all I do is laugh and then the whole class starts to laugh. My teacher always asks me if I’m alright. Unprofessional.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Funny Girl – A Broadway musical, then film starring BARBARA STREISAND.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-72588037447390802802008-12-25T05:45:00.003-08:002008-12-25T05:45:56.171-08:00TattooOn my way down to Tokyo a little while back, I realized that I really regret not getting that tattoo before I left. Really regretted. When I get back, that’s one of my goals.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-17552716969751812722008-12-25T05:45:00.001-08:002008-12-25T05:45:31.352-08:00The ColdIwaki is north of Tokyo, and anything North of Tokyo is bound to get a little snow. Because I’m close to the coast though, it snows only a handful of times during the year. That doesn't mean it’s warm though. Quite the opposite. This week, it gets below freezing, and I’m having a hard time with anything lower than 10° C. I hear a lot of, “Quit being a little bitch, it’s not even cold,” or, “Grow some cahones man.” I’m sorry that I don’t subjugate myself to bad weather. I’m not masochistic. But you guys who aren’t complaining, you’re so fricken’ hard, so hard like Rambo. You guys are my idols, I wish I could be like you! Be Tee Dub, If I were to grow some beans to make my frank and beans setto complete, they wouldn’t even see the light of day until next spring. Not only because I’m not getting laid, but because they’d be too far into my body.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Setto – (Se-toe) – Japanese bastardization of ComboMatthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-57629460553362457872008-12-25T05:44:00.002-08:002009-01-09T04:03:59.051-08:00The Dark TowerRenewing my interest in books while I sit at my desk, hours at a time, I’ve been reading The Dark Tower series by Stephen King. It’s a 7-book series, which is a mingling of the fantasy, science fiction, horror, adventure, and western genres. It’s amazing. But as I’ve made my way through the first 5 books and already ¾’s of the way done with the 6th, a sadness inside me is building. Like when Jason, Zach, and Trini left the Power Rangers. WTF else am I gonna read? No more epics, now just stand alone books, and I’m not about to start reading Harry Potter. That's only for those wanna-be-witches. Fantasy. Pure Fantasy. Like people who think they can become ninjas. WHOOOA! I got a ninja star and a black mask and can do a back flip. Leave it for the turtles. If anyone has any good suggestions, please tell me. PREASE.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Jason, Zack, and Trini – Three of the original Power Rangers.<br />2. Turtles – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-9509938742179517382008-12-25T05:44:00.001-08:002008-12-27T01:24:31.701-08:00OrigamiDuring Kindergarten week, We had to prepare for lessons with games or something to entertain the whipper snappers. I decided origami would be cool to try. So I looked online for some Christmas origami. I brought it to one of the schools but, WHOOPS! The kids are too young and can’t follow the directions. Bull Shiite. I get back to the base school and sulk, because my idea was too advanced for the people behind “I want my MPG” cars, which made me try it out. That shit was hard. That. Is. What. She. Said. My Santa hat came out like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. My reindeer looked like a confused dog, and my holly looked like a hotdog. How does that happen? Throw me a fricken bone here.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Origami – (Oh-Re-Gaw-Me) – Paper folded into different shapes.<br />2. “I want my MPG” – Toyota commercials for their Prius Hybrid, and other gas efficient cars.Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6908100206479709804.post-7133675945648281362008-12-25T05:43:00.001-08:002008-12-25T05:43:58.777-08:00Sleeping In/ Kindergarten WeekThis week, we’ve been visiting kindergartens. Aside from the sweet(ass) little kids, the schedule made it for me. We were able to sleep in until about 8, and didn’t have to be ready to go until about 9. That extra hour made it for me. But it all fell apart. Chinua Achebe. For some unknown reason, the Vice-Principal, after asking and verifying very thoroughly that we were to leave from our apts and not the school, told us on Wednesday that we have to be at the school at regular time, until regular time. Bust.<br /><br />Going to the kindergartens has been awesome. First off, it’s the week before Christmas so a lot of them are doing Christmas themed days with us coming in. Two of those days we’ve dressed up too. I’m not a very believable Santa, but little kids are stupid, especially ones that only have their eyes half open, if at all. I’m doing the “Ho Ho Ho fo sho” ‘s and the “Merry Christmas, you Buddhists” routines, and the kids are eating that shit up. Picking their noses, eating boogers, fisting their mouths, hands down the pants, the whole nine yards…SOOOOO cute! I just want to kidnap them and sell them as slaves.<br /><br />Cultural Note:<br /><br />1. Chinua Achebe – (Chen-Wa Ah-Che-Bay) – Author of the novel “Things Fall Apart.”Matthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15654600712598284814noreply@blogger.com0